stonebender: (Default)
This article by Marilyn Golden gets to some of what I worry about when it comes to legalizing assisted suicide.


Oct. 31st, 2014 12:58 pm
stonebender: (Default)
My thoughts on assisted suicide prompted by this article:

Assisted Suicide is More Dangerous...

I've been struggling with this issue for a long time now. I'm a person with a disability and I really do believe that terminally ill people should be able to decide when they want to end their lives. However, with all the talk about reducing medical costs and how much more expensive treatment is towards the end of life, there are huge financial incentives to "allow us to die with dignity". It wasn't that long ago that babies with Down's Syndrome were pushed to the back of hospital nurseries and "allowed" to die from neglect. "For their own good."

For a couple of years in college I worked as a crisis intervention counselor and I know from personal experience that many people who feel driven to suicide just need some time and perspective. This is not to diminish their pain and suffering, but I've talked to people who say they wish to kill themselves. I know, that if I could keep them on the phone long enough, they changed their minds. Sometimes suicide is not a desire to end their lives, but a desire to end their suffering with the only option they believe they have.

Too many people already think my life is a burden to me even though I love my life and the people in it. Too many people have said to me, "if I were you I would just check out." Personally I would be much more comfortable with the whole issue if I was sure that people with disabilities got the services and treatment they needed to live as full a life as possible. If that happened, then I would be more interested in talking about my "right to die."
stonebender: (Default)
It's official FOGhorn 1 went out. Check out the SF convention I'm chairing. I'd love to see everyone there.

FOGcon 5
stonebender: (pic#50771)
I like TV. I like most media, but TV is where I spend a lot of my time. I'm also a fan. Which for me means that I tend to notice tiny details. Things that most people don't give a damn about. I not only notice them but sometimes they are the reason I like or dislike a particular television show.

I especially like noticing details that feel like they are a special secret between me and the creator of whatever show I watch. Maybe a reference in one show to a previous show the creator worked on or another show an actor was in before. It feels like it's a special joke directed at me and anyone else who notices. Now some are clearly intentional and others aren't. Some are coincidences that are only funny to me. Knowing that the guy who did the voiceover for The Wonder Years was also in Breaking Away make me happy.

Some shows really play up some of this trivia knowing that fan boys like me eat it up. Castle does a lot of it. So did Buffy, The Vampire Slayer. Last night two shows gave me a bit of a chuckle. The season premiere of The Walking Dead had the appearance of an actor who played a character on an earlier episode of the show. The character ran into Rick and Carol while they were on a run. The character and his girlfriend were very friendly sweet people who clearly had only survived through unprecedented amounts of luck. The character had dislocated his shoulder and Carol reset it for him. Not long after the girlfriend was found dead, but the guy just disappeared. So anyway, he shows up in the episode and I think, "Hey, that's the guy with the dislocated shoulder!" I also realize that he is now playing the guy who will become The Penguin in the new Gotham television show.

I know this is unimportant, but I told you these were stupid details.

Now, this last one was clearly on purpose and is more generally fun and not so much a private joke for me. On the The Good Wife which usually plays against The Walking Dead. Last night's episode has Alicia guiltily fascinated with a TV show that is clearly a take off of Talking Dead the show that follows The Walking Dead and talks about that evening's TWD episode. Fun!
stonebender: (Default)
Aftermath (Invasion of the Dead, #1)Aftermath by Owen Baillie

My rating: 2 of 5 stars

This was a decent attempt at a zombie novel. I don't think I liked the different types of zombie introduced by Mr. Baillie. Unless the different types becomes a bigger deal in future installments, they didn't seem to effect the plot much except that every now and then a zombie got identified as a type 1 or 2 or whatever.

It also seemed strange how much time went into resolving old relationships while zombies were doing their best to make a snack out of them.

I'll try the next book in the series.

View all my reviews
stonebender: (Default)
I can't really talk about most of what is bothering me, but every time I start feeling like maybe I have a better handle on things in life. Life makes it absolutely clear I'm not even in the right league. This may be the last time I do many things. Not worth the emotional trauma.
stonebender: (Default)
My partners and I have talked about this type of thing for a long time. I couldn't see enough of how the controls worked to know whether it will really be useful to me, but I Really Want This!
stonebender: (Default)
[personal profile] [personal profile] jesse_the_k has given me the letter F.

Something I hate: fear

Something I love: film

Somewhere I have been: Freemont

Somewhere I would like to go: France

Someone I know: Fabian Franchi

Best movie: Fight Club

If you comment asking for a letter, I will provide!
stonebender: (Default)
Posting for my own benefit, a dream I had yesterday. Carol and I are watching a video on television. The music playing is Alex Clare's song "To Close". But it didn't have Alex in the video. I seem to have matched up the music with perhaps a Timberlake video but no Justin either. The video was black and white and had a man in a sleeveless tuxedo and no shirt underneath. So you see the man's arms and some of his chest. The man was heavily tattooed, but tattooed in an old-fashioned way. I think of the tattoos being sailor type tattoos. Anchors and hearts and the massive ships on the ocean. The tattoos are fuzzy and badly drawn.

So I start criticizing the tattoos and as I badmouth them Carol says to me, "Well you're one to talk, yours are exactly alike." With that I look down at myself and I do have tattoos almost exactly like the guy in the video. I look up to Carol and say: "Well, you're right, but I wear my tattoos ironically."
stonebender: (Default)
Last weekend I attended another FOGcon 4 committee meeting. Things seem to be chugging along. Eli Bishop is contributing his talents towards our program book cover this year. We got our first chance to look at it Saturday. It's beautiful take a look,
stonebender: (Default)
Does everyone know I'm Chairing FOGcon 4 this year? We just reached a big milestone. Program sign-ups are live! Remember, the convention is coming soon we only have about eight weeks till March 7. You have until February 21 to buy a membership online. After that you must buy your membership at the door. Once you by your membership you can go through the programming sign-up. You can tell is what program you'd be interested in participating in or just let us know what programming looks good to you. I hope to see at least some of you in Walnut Creek this March.
stonebender: (Default)
I've been having a rough time lately, but managed to get out of my house yesterday to see my therapist (the first time in weeks and weeks). I've been feeling a little weak, so instead of schlepping from Telegraph all the way to Tuk-Tuk Thai Cafe on Shattuck (as is our custom). I decided to try this new place on Telegraph near my therapist Rangoon Superstars. [personal profile] loracs and I over ordered as we tend to do at a new restaurant.

We both just loved the place. I can't remember what soup we had, but it had like a potato dumpling in it. On the spicy side for me, but I'm a wimp and I still liked it. We had salt and pepper calamari which was amazingly tender. [personal profile] loracs loved the jalapenos that went with it. I was able to eat around the jalapenos and enjoyed the appetizer quite a bit. I had some garlic noodles with duck. She had a shrimp dish. I discovered a new favorite drink: Burmese Milk Tea.

I was happy to run into [personal profile] serene as she walked home from work. Lots of vegetarian options probably several vegan ones as well.
stonebender: (Default)
It wasn't a surprise, but I'm still oddly sad that this morning I found this in my inbox. For those who missed it, read this for some backround.
stonebender: (Default)
Last night, almost 24 hours ago I passed out. [personal profile] loracs and I were coming back from a movie after having eaten Thanksgiving dinner. I had some gastric distress and felt pretty tired. So I asked [personal profile] loracs to put me to bed. I went to the bathroom, but still wasn't feeling so good. I had her put me to bed and roll me on my side half way onto my stomach. So I could try to squeeze out the Hindenburg of gas still in my intestines.

My head was on a pillow and my nose was a little stuffed, but I felt fine. She put the blanket on me to keep me warm and the sheet fell over my face. I knew it was there but it didn't seem to obstruct my breathing and I only planned to be laying on my side for a few minutes. I thought about asking her to remove the sheet, but I honestly felt fine about leaving it there.

[personal profile] loracs went to the study to give me some privacy, and I got to work. After a while, I started having trouble getting my breath. I wasn't scared, it wasn't a big deal. It was just uncomfortable. So I called [personal profile] loracs. No answer. I called louder and still no answer. I kept calling trying to get louder, but I started feeling like I couldn't breathe at all.

I tried to calm down. I tried to concentrate on breathing, but I didn't feel like I was getting much oxygen. Pippin, my dog, jumped on the bed and did what she usually does which is go get [personal profile] loracs. At least I think she went to [personal profile] loracs. I did hear her bark, but Pippin has been barking more lately because we are doing some home remodeling and she doesn't enjoy all the changes. I tried one more time to call [personal profile] loracs and still couldn't call out loud enough. Things started getting blurry and darker. I felt my throat completely close up. The last thing I remember thinking was: What a stupid way to die...

The next thing I knew, there were three big burly guys in my bedroom asking me questions. "Do you know who the president is?"

"Obama?" I answered.

"How old are you?"


"What year is it?"

I turned to [personal profile] loracs because the answer wouldn't come immediately. She shrugged waiting for my answer and then it came to me. "2013"

The answers seemed to satisfy them. I noticed every breath I took improved my mental state. Turns out they checked my O2 and it was at 92%. 95 to 100 is what I've been told is normal. I already felt like my O2 level was going up. After my bout with pneumonia years ago, I have some experience with these things. The paramedics wanted me to go to the hospital. They checked my heart and it seemed to be functioning normally. I tried to tell them that, because of my disability, I was unable to move my head when my airway got obstructed. I think they thought there was some other cause but I was pretty sure there wasn't.

So I'm fine now, but it was scary. [personal profile] loracs said when she came to check on me I was blue and unresponsive. She dialed 911 and tried to get me to react. She was just getting ready to try what she remembered of CPR when my eyes opened and I seemed to start breathing. I don't remember any of this. I really only came to after the paramedics got here.

I'll call my regular doctor after the holidays just to double check, but I'm feeling physically normal and only periodically freaked out for a minute or two.

[personal profile] loracs is blaming herself and I feel like if she is at fault, I'm at least 50% at fault as well. I thought about telling her to move the sheet, but it really didn't feel like it was obstructing my breathing, until it started obstructing my breathing. It was an accident. A scary accident. I'm certainly glad she was here to revive me.
stonebender: (Default)
My morning attendant gave her two week notice Tuesday. I haven't had to look for new workers much in my life. I tend to hang on to the ones I hire and often before they leave my employment they have another family member or friend who wants the job. To me this is nice for stability sake, but he does make me feel like whatever abilities I need to interview and higher a new worker atrophy before I need to use them. So here I am in the unusual position of needing to higher a new person. In the old days there used to be an informal network of people with disabilities who knew who was looking for work or needed more hours etc. etc. Read more... )
stonebender: (Default)
Because my wheelchair ran out of juice a couple weeks ago, I don't feel like I can trust it. So I've been sticking to home more often than not. My new wheelchair is sitting at Wheelchairs of Berkeley waiting for the part that holds the joystick up to my mouth. I've been waiting for 2 1/2 or 3 weeks for that part so I can actually use my new wheelchair. I've called 3 times trying to get an ETA for the parts with zero information so far. First they were going to call me with an estimated time, but didn't. I called them to let them know they hadn't given me a time and ask them when they would. They said they would call me back and didn't. Called them again, they said they didn't know but if I called them in an hour they would let me know. Called in an hour, they said they didn't know but would call me back. *Sigh*

DragonDictate is working periodically. I'm way behind on a zine I want to write and I'm close to giving up on.

I have completely and utterly screwed up my email and in the process of fixing it I have a feeling I have unintentionally lost lots of needed information. Which is beginning to make me feel like I have lost whatever technological knowledge or ability I had. I'm just feeling stupid around it all right now.

In an effort to be positive. I did have a lovely dinner last night with [personal profile] loracs

Went to BART's Accessibility Advisory Committee (I think that's what they call it) yesterday to comment on their new train car which isn't as accessible as they would like. Found out the car wasn't on the agenda, but I was able to "scope out" the power dynamics of the committee. Now I'm considering getting on it. Did have a lovely time at the Oakland Museum looking at these amazing Native American baskets.

My butt is killing me. I am not a happy boy.
stonebender: (Default)
Reposted from [personal profile] gramina:

I’m walking to raise money for the Alzheimer’s Association, You can see my personal fundraising page at

When my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, it was the Alzheimer’s Association that gave us detailed information on what to expect, and it’s the Alzheimer’s Association that started the Safe Return program (with Medic Alert), so that she and her husband had matching bracelets and if she wandered, she could be found more quickly. They gave information and help and support to our family when we really needed it.

They also fund research into ways to prevent, ameliorate, or cure Alzheimer’s disease. Since 1982, — the world’s largest nonprofit funder of Alzheimer’s research — has committed $292 million to more than 2,000 grant proposals.

My mother died of Alzheimer’s disease in May of 2012.

My family tends to be long-lived; I should have had another 20 years of my mother’s wit, compassion, intelligence, insight, and love. Instead, Alzheimer’s stole the last ten years of my mother’s life from her and from her husband, from me, from my sister, and from everyone who knew her.

No one should have to go through that.

By 2050, though, as many as sixteen million people are expected to have Alzheimer’s disease. That’s not just sixteen million lives cut short, or sixteen million minds deprived of their vision, clarity, power, and creativity. It’s sixteen million times all the children, partners, lovers, friends, and caregivers whose lives are catastrophically disrupted, whose hopes and dreams and expectations for their own and their loved one’s future are broken and betrayed.

Please help me help the Alzheimer’s Association continue to fund research and support patients and families. If you can donate, that’s wonderful — the smallest amounts add up faster than you would believe. If you can’t donate, please feel free to signal boost — I appreciate it a lot.

Thank you, so very, very much.

FOGcon 4

Jul. 17th, 2013 05:56 pm
stonebender: (Default)
I've been involved in organizing FOGcon for years now. I did publications for a couple of years. I was Vice Chair of FOGcon 3 and this year I am chairing the convention. Our theme is Secrets and one of our biggest secrets so far has been who were going to be our honored guests. I know many of you have been sitting on the edge of your seat waiting for the news. Well, here is. As Chair of FOGcon 4 I'm thrilled beyond measure to let you know that our guests this year will be Seanan McGuire and Tim Powers! Our Ghost of Honor will be James Tiptree Jr.

I'm really excited about this year's guests and our theme. Reading the news these days certainly makes our theme timely. If you'd like to know more about our guests or FOGcon, please check our website FOGcon.

I plan to write more about my adventures in chairing this convention. So check in here as well. There may still be a few more surprises coming up, so pay attention. We're going to have fun! Try to come out and see me this March.
stonebender: (Default)


stonebender: (Default)

June 2017

11121314 15 1617

Important (to me) Links


RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags