stonebender (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
stonebender) wrote2004-12-31 02:16 pm
stonebender) wrote2004-12-31 02:16 pm
My thoughts as the new year approaches
Although, new year's being January 1st is an arbitrary date and has no real significance I sometimes need external stimulus to do what I should do anyway. Special days like birthdays, anniversary's, Thanksgiving and yes, New Year's Eve are helpful to me for that.
Looking back on 2004 I realize that it has been a pretty good year for me personally. I am still struggling with some sort of midlife crisis/stuck thing. I'm not completely sure what it's about. Some of it is certainly because I've never had a traditional job and I never really expected to live this long. I don't have a role model or pattern to live by, so I must figure out how to live a life that is valuable. Part of the crisis is figuring out what I think is valuable. I think I place too much stock in external validation. How to break free from that is a process. My love life is better than it has been in years thanks to two remarkable women. I have a house I love. I'm not financially struggling (although if Shrub has his way this could change).
The recent presidential election has me flummoxed. I'm clearly totally different from a much larger portion of the United States than I ever thought before. Our work will be cut out for us in the coming four years. Most of the governmental programs that make my life livable will be under attack. Social Security, Medicaid, In-Home Support Services are all in danger. I'm frustrated that governmental programs like these are under attack. Yet, for some reason, I feel confident that something will work out for me and everyone. I have no rational reason for this belief. We the disabled, the old, the poor are stronger than anyone gives us a credit for. We are survivors or we wouldn't be here now.
It has been a truly horrible year for many many people. Natural disasters like hurricanes and earthquakes and tsunami's have taken their toll this year, but I'm very heartened by the world's response. People can and sometimes do, do the right thing.
Man-made disasters like war are killing people as well. Maybe the coming year will be the year we wake up and realize that force is not the way. It could be the year we realize that bringing our troops home is the most "supportive" thing we can do.
I don't do resolutions but here are some things that I'm working on:
I want to be a better Uncle.
I still want to go to Europe.
I want to get some writing done and sent out.
I want to find another way to interact with some of my family.
I want to feel better about myself.
I hope that everyone who reads this gets what they need, gives what they can and has more love, light, and relevance this coming year than this past year. My best wishes to you all.
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(Speaking of Uncle-ing, if you wanted to give the munchkin a thrill, zir exact birthday is at 9pm tonight (midnight ET; zie was born at midnight), and you could give a call.)
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