stonebender | (no subject)

serenejournal has met a few people recently who say they know me. In each case the people were what I would consider acquaintances. In one case I had met the person face-to-face maybe twice and exchanged perhaps a handful of words. In another case, I had "known" the person via e-mail for years but never had occasion to sit down and say more than hello or goodbye face-to-face. Even online we may have read each other's posts to a common mailing list, but hadn't had much interaction directly with each other.

Yet both people seemed to think they knew me well enough that they could make predictions about my preferences or habits. In my mind, I didn't know either of them well. Yes, I knew their names. Yes, I could point them out in a crowd but know them? I didn't think I knew either of them at all, nor they I.

Now in the last few years I have been trying to put myself out there more. Trying to make new friends and new connections. Much of this is complicated by my natural reticence to organize get-togethers at my place and the inaccessibility of most people's houses. I have attempted to be more active on newsgroups and mailing lists and here. I haven't been particularly successful in boosting my word count.

So I'm wondering what makes people feel like they know someone? How many people on my friends list think they know me? And how well? Of those who think they know me do I seem "like me" online? Is this whole subject just a pathetic attempt at attention?

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I think fandom lends itself to the kind of confusion I'm feeling.

That, and simple differences in memory - I seem to recall running into you at The Other Change (old store) or on the streets of Oakland every month or two ... h'mmm, my "ten years" was low: actually focusing on it, I'm thinking, say, mid-'80s. Often enough that two successive backpackhounds recognized me readily, at any rate, though their memories were probably than mine. And my sense of how far apart things are has always been a wee bit wonky. (Like, thinking of mid-'80s as "ten years or so ago.") I'm the sort of person who usually knows what time it is but rarely knows what time it was.

Well, memory being what it is I agree. Yes, we did run into each other at Other Change. When I used to practically live there, but I was thinking Sci-Fido II was after that. However my memory of when things happened is less than perfect.