stonebender (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
stonebender) wrote2003-07-06 08:16 pm
stonebender) wrote2003-07-06 08:16 pm
(no subject)
Yesterday I went to the Twisted Tea Dance at the el Rio in San Francisco. Carol, my SO, is a member of the Phat Fly Girls. Which was one of the groups/people performing that night. It was a fundraiser for Big Moves. I had not intended to go. I have seen Carol, her group, and many of the other performers many times. It sounded like a party kind of thing and I'm not particularly good at parties. I'm good at talking in small groups, but at 45, I still have not figured out how to mingle at a party.
Although, Carol assured me that it would be fine if I stayed home. She kept forgetting that I said I wasn't coming. After four or five iterations of, "I thought you were coming with us!" "No, I told you I didn't feel like going." I took the the hint and acquiesced.
I had never been to the el Rio and I did not realize it was an outdoor venue. It is rare that I am outside in San Francisco for very long without freezing. I'm not very good at being cold. I joke all the time that I am a lizard. Give me a rock and a sunny place and I am a happy boy. There was no rock and very little sun Saturday.
It was nice to see folks that I had not seen in quite a while. Saw
joedecker, Eric, Beth, cassidyrose (who I have seen more often than the previous 3, and who looks pretty good in a suit :-). I got to meet mactavish in person too! The show was lots of fun. Carolin, the MC, is a favorite of mine. I liked the DJ even though he wasn't playing an era that I particularly enjoy, early '80s. The Phat Fly Girls did a new dance routine that I had not seen. It was lots of fun.
cassidyrose did a solo, followed by Queen Justine. Who I got to talk to for a little bit! *pant, pant* There was much eye-candy of various flavors to be found. I really enjoyed the one singer, whose name I can't remember at this moment. She sounded a bit like Sarah McLachlan with an edge. I'd like to ask something of folk who read this. Especially those who made it to the Twisted Tea and I would really appreciate people being gentle about their comments because I'm feeling a little vulnerable about asking this question. As I said earlier, I don't mingle very well at parties. Some reasons I don't are mechanical. It's difficult to maneuver my wheelchair through a crowd and I can become an obstruction. So I tend to shy away from being anywhere near the path of travel, if at all possible. Now, I don't want to give the impression that I was being snubbed by anyone I know. Most everyone made the attempt of talking to me for a little while. However, lots of folks were talking and I felt pretty isolated. I'm sure that it is something that I am doing, but I can't figure out how not to do it. Would anyone have any suggestions about what I could do differently? Recognize the fact that I don't have the ability to do a lot of the nonverbal posturing that people do. For those who don't know me my disability makes me unable to really move my arms or legs. How did people experience me that evening? Did I appear unfriendly or was it something else? I would appreciate whatever, gentle, feedback people had. Thanks
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As to the mingling situation, the first thing that popped into my head was "maybe you could flag your status, literally." Put up a flag in the back of your chair that has a little message like "I'd love to chat" or something like that.
Feel free to disregard silly idea.
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Sorry I missed you too!
As to the mingling situation, the first thing that popped into my head was "maybe you could flag your status, literally." Put up a flag in the back of your chair that has a little message like "I'd love to chat" or something like that.
*chuckle* The direct approach, I'll consider it.
Feel free to disregard silly idea.
No, no we're brainstorming here. This could be a solution, or not. :-)
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Maybe if we'd just been down on the ground (was there a ramp?) and with more chairs, it would have been a good thing.
I don't know how to flag for a conversation, either. . . . I think seating arrangements are a big part of it.
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I suspected as much. I hope my question didn't appear to blame you or anyone. This happens to me all the time. Not just Saturday, so I'm trying to problem solve.
If we'd had access to a lower, more everyone-is-sitting spot, it might have been easier.
Yeah, el Rio isn't the easiest place for me to get around. Which was certainly a contributing factor.
And because I know and like catzen, who was operating the camera, I stuck around him for a good chunk of the time. A couple of times I noticed that we were closer to you but blocking the door.
Maybe if we'd just been down on the ground (was there a ramp?) and with more chairs, it would have been a good thing.
I was told there was a ramp. I never found it. Yep more chairs would have helped many folks.
I don't know how to flag for a conversation, either. . . . I think seating arrangements are a big part of it.
*nod*
Minor nitpick....
(Wish I had suggestions for you regarding how to mingle; I'm not all that good at it, either....)
Re: Minor nitpick....
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you onto my Friends list. And hey, you mentioned me. Kewl!
;-D
Z
P.S.: You know, it's possible that
something.
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Hi, Guy. At long last, I can check off the to-do item of getting you onto my Friends list. And hey, you mentioned me. Kewl!
:-) I'm glad to be of assistance! Especially since I didn't have to do anything. :-)
P.S.: You know, it's possible that
It wouldn't surprise me if he was. He does that periodically.
Welcome aboard!