I should've read the fine print

[stonebender]

Some of the stuff I didn't sign up for when I was born disabled.

* Sometimes I just want things done my way. I don't care if it makes sense. I don't care if there's a better way. If I could do it myself I'd just do it and save the argument.

* As I age, I seem to be losing my patience. I thought I'd get more patient as I got older.

* There is just not enough room! When I need my mouth stick I want to be able to reach it. When I don't need it. I want it to disappear. Too many things are out of my reach or in my way! Especially when they are the same damn things!

Yes, these are minor matters in a pretty excellent life and I should concentrate on the good stuff. I am not always good at doing the things that would be good for me.

PS This particular post was written three days ago. I thought I lost it to the bit bucket, but when I went to post to LJ the program asked me whether I wanted to recover my text from a previous post and there it was! I'm nowhere near as frustrated as I was when I wrote it, but I thought I'd keep it.

Comments

[pir-anha.livejournal.com]

if this is all you're complaining about, you're not bad. most people i know whine a lot more. :)

As I age, I seem to be losing my patience. I thought I'd get more patient as I got older.

yeah, same here. i am more patient about some things, more understanding of people's genuine differences has brought greater patience. but i am MUCH less patient with assholery, stupidity, and especially willful ignorance. oh, and politics. i have no patience for it at all anymore.

[stonebender.livejournal.com]

if this is all you're complaining about, you're not bad. most people i know whine a lot more. :)

Thanks, I am trying to restrain myself :-)

As I age, I seem to be losing my patience. I thought I'd get more patient as I got older.

yeah, same here. i am more patient about some things, more understanding of people's genuine differences has brought greater patience. but i am MUCH less patient with assholery, stupidity, and especially willful ignorance. oh, and politics. i have no patience for it at all anymore.

Yes that and I would probably add that I have less patience for my personal assholery and stupidity. (I'd like to think I'm not willfully ignorant :-)

[firecat]

I share your and pleonastic's experience about age and patience. I find it quite fascinating, what I am more and less patient about. Some of it I'm happy with and some I'm not so happy.

I also can relate to the "not enough room" thing, although it's not a disability issue for me, it's just that I like to settle down somewhere and have a bunch of things within reach, and then along come the cats wanting a walking path through all those things.

[tsjafo.livejournal.com]

i am more patient about some things, more understanding of people's genuine differences has brought greater patience. but i am MUCH less patient with assholery, stupidity, and especially willful ignorance.

Amen!

[tsjafo.livejournal.com]

* Sometimes I just want things done my way. I don't care if it makes sense. I don't care if there's a better way. If I could do it myself I'd just do it and save the argument.

I hear you. "New and Improved" (now there's an oxymoron) doesn't interest me as much as stability and familiarity.

[stonebender.livejournal.com]

Ezzactly!

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

Well, there's that, and then there's just individual idiosyncrasy. Small (very small) example: When I alphabetize my books, I alphabetize by author, then by title. stonebender keeps series by the same author together. When I organize his books, it goes his way, no matter how I feel about it. If he could do it himself, it would be his way -- it would be incredibly patronizing of me to decide to do it my way just because they're my hands that are doing the work. Neither of us is wrong in our decision of how to organize books, but many people decide that because he isn't able to physically do something, he doesn't get to say how it's done. Frustrating when I see that happening.

Almost as frustrating as when servers ask me what he wants. Next time that happens, I swear I'm gonna say "Well, he wants *sex*, but that's my job -- how about you ask him what FOOD he wants, since that's YOUR job."

*Snark*

[tracytreefrog.livejournal.com]

Oh I would pay money to see the look on a servers face if you said that to them.

[hmms-sio.livejournal.com]

I would love to be there when you do.

[wild-irises.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you posted it. Next time we get together (before too long, I hope), let's make a list of some things you want done your way, and I'll do them. I think that's a reasonable kind of unreasonableness, and you should get it a lot of the time.

[stonebender.livejournal.com]

I'm always happy to see you and as I said, the post is a few days old. I really wasn't making any pleas for help particularly (except perhaps an existential kind). serenejournal is very patient with my "unreasonableness" and when loracs has the energy she's very indulgent as well. serenejournal has also suggested I make a list of projects. Which I will do soon. That ought to be fun. Mostly this post was due to some frustration with my morning attendant and a bit of a feeling of helplessness which I've been struggling with. FYI things are getting better, perhaps not as quick as I'd like but progress is being made.

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

Heh. This is the first I knew you WERE disabled. See what not meeting people in person does?

[stonebender.livejournal.com]

*shush* Its a secret! :)

[hmms-sio.livejournal.com]

I'd probably be one of those people who'd frustrate you. I know myself, I know I try as hard as I can and yet make loads of mistakes in this regard.

[stonebender.livejournal.com]

I'd probably be one of those people who'd frustrate you.

You think?

I know myself, I know I try as hard as I can and yet make loads of mistakes in this regard.

In my book you get points for the self-knowledge and the attempt to change. Just so you know.

[hmms-sio.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Your points are worth a lot to me.

I learned quite a lot last time I had erysipelas. Maybe I do get better over time. And maybe I'll ever get a chance to show you how frustrating I can be ;)

[stonebender.livejournal.com]

I learned quite a lot last time I had erysipelas. Maybe I do get better over time. And maybe I'll ever get a chance to show you how frustrating I can be ;)

*chuckle* I look forward to the possibility :-) I am making very very very tentative plans to try and make alt.poly in Amsterdam. Money is tight and it costs more to travel with the level of disability that I have. So we will see.

Wanting things your way

[waywardcats.livejournal.com]

Well, in my experience numbers one and two on your list don't apply only to people with disabilities. Most people want things done their own way, some are more vocal about it than others, but it's not unusual at all! hence the phrase "my way or the highway".

Why did you think you would be more patient as you got older? After all, you have less time now than you did before (sorry to raise the obvious). I find myself more patient in some things and less in others, but in general I think our culture makes us less patient in general. After all, when we were young if you wanted to talk to someone, your options were phone (land line) or letter (snail mail). No internet, no cell phones, no chat rooms, no IM. Now that we can do everything so fast, we just want it faster.

As for number three, that has got to be frustrating. I wish we could come up with a solution, like a mouth stick holder on your tray that you can set it into out of the way, but still reachable when needed.

I'm glad you feel better now. :-)

Cheers,

-Kerry-

Re: Wanting things your way

[stonebender.livejournal.com]

Well, in my experience numbers one and two on your list don't apply only to people with disabilities. Most people want things done their own way, some are more vocal about it than others, but it's not unusual at all! hence the phrase "my way or the highway".

Well no, the desire isn't particularly unique to a person with a disability, but a person who is able bodied always has the option of saying, "never mind I'll do it myself". I never have that option.

Why did you think you would be more patient as you got older? After all, you have less time now than you did before (sorry to raise the obvious). I find myself more patient in some things and less in others, but in general I think our culture makes us less patient in general. After all, when we were young if you wanted to talk to someone, your options were phone (land line) or letter (snail mail). No internet, no cell phones, no chat rooms, no IM. Now that we can do everything so fast, we just want it faster.

I always thought that age would give me some kind of perspective. So unimportant things wouldn't bother me as much. Clearly I'm mistaken.

As for number three, that has got to be frustrating. I wish we could come up with a solution, like a mouth stick holder on your tray that you can set it into out of the way, but still reachable when needed.

you would think it would be possible but I haven't found a good place to put one yet.

I'm glad you feel better now. :-)

Thanks!

[clever-doberman.livejournal.com]

I love you.



just because.

[stonebender.livejournal.com]

Thanks sweetie.