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For those who don't know, [personal profile] loracs is in the hospital with cellulitis. We thought she would be home tomorrow, but her infection is being obstinate. They are trying other antibiotics and she will be getting a CT scan to see if there's some underlining cause for the infection. She is obviously worried as am I. I've had cellulitis on countless occasions, but my infections have always responded well to antibiotics. She is at the new Kaiser Hospital in San Leandro if you would like to visit.
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I've been having a rough time lately, but managed to get out of my house yesterday to see my therapist (the first time in weeks and weeks). I've been feeling a little weak, so instead of schlepping from Telegraph all the way to Tuk-Tuk Thai Cafe on Shattuck (as is our custom). I decided to try this new place on Telegraph near my therapist Rangoon Superstars. [personal profile] loracs and I over ordered as we tend to do at a new restaurant.

We both just loved the place. I can't remember what soup we had, but it had like a potato dumpling in it. On the spicy side for me, but I'm a wimp and I still liked it. We had salt and pepper calamari which was amazingly tender. [personal profile] loracs loved the jalapenos that went with it. I was able to eat around the jalapenos and enjoyed the appetizer quite a bit. I had some garlic noodles with duck. She had a shrimp dish. I discovered a new favorite drink: Burmese Milk Tea.

I was happy to run into [personal profile] serene as she walked home from work. Lots of vegetarian options probably several vegan ones as well.
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Last night, almost 24 hours ago I passed out. [personal profile] loracs and I were coming back from a movie after having eaten Thanksgiving dinner. I had some gastric distress and felt pretty tired. So I asked [personal profile] loracs to put me to bed. I went to the bathroom, but still wasn't feeling so good. I had her put me to bed and roll me on my side half way onto my stomach. So I could try to squeeze out the Hindenburg of gas still in my intestines.

My head was on a pillow and my nose was a little stuffed, but I felt fine. She put the blanket on me to keep me warm and the sheet fell over my face. I knew it was there but it didn't seem to obstruct my breathing and I only planned to be laying on my side for a few minutes. I thought about asking her to remove the sheet, but I honestly felt fine about leaving it there.

[personal profile] loracs went to the study to give me some privacy, and I got to work. After a while, I started having trouble getting my breath. I wasn't scared, it wasn't a big deal. It was just uncomfortable. So I called [personal profile] loracs. No answer. I called louder and still no answer. I kept calling trying to get louder, but I started feeling like I couldn't breathe at all.

I tried to calm down. I tried to concentrate on breathing, but I didn't feel like I was getting much oxygen. Pippin, my dog, jumped on the bed and did what she usually does which is go get [personal profile] loracs. At least I think she went to [personal profile] loracs. I did hear her bark, but Pippin has been barking more lately because we are doing some home remodeling and she doesn't enjoy all the changes. I tried one more time to call [personal profile] loracs and still couldn't call out loud enough. Things started getting blurry and darker. I felt my throat completely close up. The last thing I remember thinking was: What a stupid way to die...

The next thing I knew, there were three big burly guys in my bedroom asking me questions. "Do you know who the president is?"

"Obama?" I answered.

"How old are you?"


"What year is it?"

I turned to [personal profile] loracs because the answer wouldn't come immediately. She shrugged waiting for my answer and then it came to me. "2013"

The answers seemed to satisfy them. I noticed every breath I took improved my mental state. Turns out they checked my O2 and it was at 92%. 95 to 100 is what I've been told is normal. I already felt like my O2 level was going up. After my bout with pneumonia years ago, I have some experience with these things. The paramedics wanted me to go to the hospital. They checked my heart and it seemed to be functioning normally. I tried to tell them that, because of my disability, I was unable to move my head when my airway got obstructed. I think they thought there was some other cause but I was pretty sure there wasn't.

So I'm fine now, but it was scary. [personal profile] loracs said when she came to check on me I was blue and unresponsive. She dialed 911 and tried to get me to react. She was just getting ready to try what she remembered of CPR when my eyes opened and I seemed to start breathing. I don't remember any of this. I really only came to after the paramedics got here.

I'll call my regular doctor after the holidays just to double check, but I'm feeling physically normal and only periodically freaked out for a minute or two.

[personal profile] loracs is blaming herself and I feel like if she is at fault, I'm at least 50% at fault as well. I thought about telling her to move the sheet, but it really didn't feel like it was obstructing my breathing, until it started obstructing my breathing. It was an accident. A scary accident. I'm certainly glad she was here to revive me.
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My morning attendant gave her two week notice Tuesday. I haven't had to look for new workers much in my life. I tend to hang on to the ones I hire and often before they leave my employment they have another family member or friend who wants the job. To me this is nice for stability sake, but he does make me feel like whatever abilities I need to interview and higher a new worker atrophy before I need to use them. So here I am in the unusual position of needing to higher a new person. In the old days there used to be an informal network of people with disabilities who knew who was looking for work or needed more hours etc. etc. Read more... )
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[personal profile] loracs and I went to see a staged reading of The Drunken City by Adam Bock (some may know him from Shotgun Players). We started the evening by getting dinner at a new (to us) restaurant in Castro Valley called Genghix (or Genghis, there seemed to be a little confusion between their sign outside and how the name was spelled on their receipts). A really nice restaurant friendly, quick service amazingly fresh sushi. I enjoyed their tonkatsu, very tender and tasty, but I sort of wish I had ordered the lamb chop. I tasted some of [personal profile] loracs's and it was really good. We will be going back there.

After dinner we headed for the Morrison Theater (a part of the Hayward Recreation and Park District). To see The Drunken City which was light and funny. There were a few dialogue bobbles especially in the second half of the play. Some of the jokes depended on some fairly specific timing which they pulled off sometimes and other times really didn't. Of course that kind of thing is difficult in a staged reading, but the first half of the play was very tight. The second half just didn't live up to the polish of the first half. Neither of us liked the decision to keep the house lights up. The light on us was very distracting, but we had a very good time.

The theater itself was just barely accessible. The only place for a person in a wheelchair to park was at the back of the house and I can't imagine more than four wheelchair users attending a show there. Except for the entrance to the theater there seemed to be steps everywhere. Clearly a theater designed and built before that ADA. Still, we had a wonderful evening.
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Happy anniversary my love. After 28 years you have known me longer and better than just about anyone. Oh my parents and my siblings have known me a little longer, but not as well. We've gone through a lot, the incredibly happy and the incredibly sad. We've built a pretty astounding life together. Thank you for all of it.
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Lookie what my sweetheart did! [personal profile] loracs's Cool Picture! How neat is that?
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Last Wednesday night I went to see Girlfriend at the Berkeley Repertory Theatre with [personal profile] serene. I like Matthew Sweet's music, so I was pretty sure I would enjoy the show and I was right. It was a wonderful evening. The Berkeley Rep did two musicals based on popular music this season. American Idiot by Green Day and Girlfriend. Although, American Idiot was more successful as a musical, I'm not entirely convinced that current music lends itself to dramatization. My working theory which is very preliminary is that back in my youth there were such things as concept albums. Where the music was actually intended to tell some kind of story. We don't seem to do that much anymore (although American Idiot appeared to be conceived as a musical and Green Day was much more involved in its show then Matthew Sweet was in Girlfriend.) So the musicals have much more of a concert feel to me. This isn't a criticism, I enjoyed both shows very much. it's just that after both shows I didn't feel like I'd gone to the theater. Of the two "musicals" I've seen at the Berkeley Rep, Girlfriend was less successful in my mind as a musical.

[personal profile] serene looked beautiful in her sparkly black dress. After the show we got sushi where I was introduced to butterfish sashimi which was very tasty and I ate usual tonkatsu (I'm almost sure I misspelled that, but I'm too lazy to go look right now.) I really enjoyed myself. Thank you so much [personal profile] loracs for the transportation assistance. The evening was much more enjoyable being dry. You wouldn't know it from what I write here, but I have a really good life. Much better than I ever expected.
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Late last month [personal profile] loracs took me on a wonderful surprise date. The Riverview Lounge was a funky little place that catered to seafood. I'm sure I would have enjoyed the food there more if I had ordered seafood, but I was in the mood for steak. I ordered a steak sandwich. Which wasn't my best move. It tasted alright, but was very chewy. I ended up not finishing it but had a lot of fun looking at the restaurant decor and out their huge windows to the San Joaquin River. After dinner [personal profile] loracs wanted to take pictures. The light was beautiful and the weather was surprisingly warm even toward the evening. I had a really nice time there. Now that would have been a wonderful day all by itself. I certainly didn't need to do anymore, but then [personal profile] loracs took me to see Paula Poundstone! She's been a favorite of mine for years. She's one of those performers that seems completely natural on stage. Her demeanor is casual and conversational. It always feels to me like we're just sitting at a table over dinner and she's just talking.

The theater we went to had great seats. The wheelchair seating put us maybe six or seven row from the stage. However it's not a big theater. I feel like just about any seat would be acceptable. I don't think there was any really bad seats. The theater is a refurbished vaudeville theater. It is a pretty, but not beautiful place. It felt comfy to me.

I think [personal profile] loracs enjoyed herself too. I haven't seen her laugh quite so much in a while. It was such a thoughtful gift and great day.
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27 years ago today, [personal profile] loracs and I signed a lease to an apartment in downtown Oakland two blocks from where I was living at the time. My mother was terrified because I was moving from a rent controlled, subsidized apartment to live in sin. Together we have been through a lot (especially the last few years). I wish it had been easier for you. I wish I could do more. I love you, sweetheart. Here's to 27 more years or however it works out.
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My house has a pretty large backyard, especially by SF Bay Area standards. We were also bequeathed lots of trees back there. Most of which we ended up getting rid of, but we did keep several fruit trees. Our plum tree has been going crazy this year. [personal profile] loracs brought in several plums to show off and [personal profile] serene lit up with the idea of canning some. So it was off to Longs for canning stuff. We didn't find all we needed at Longs, but eventually we got it all. For awhile our kitchen was transformed into a canning factory extraordinaire with all four of our stove burners going. I think we bit off a little more than we could chew, but [personal profile] serene did manage to fill 23 half pint jars of golden yellow plum preserves.

I didn't do any of the heavy lifting, but I am a fine cheerleader and fire watcher (got to make sure all the flammable items are far away from the burners don't you know). I'm indecently pleased at eating things that have grown from my own backyard. Even though I did nothing to deserve it. I managed to grab my new favorite Jamba juice drink; a chocolate, peanut butter and banana concoction that I can't seem to get enough of lately, while out buying equipment. If that wasn't enough, [personal profile] serene also made some kind of Spanish fretata (sp?) thing (or perhaps you would call it a potato eggs and cheese omelette) that I got to have for dinner. I really liked it. I started the day with bacon and coffee made by [personal profile] loracs. Watched plum preserves being made from my very own tree. Watched a little Battlestar Galactica and Buffy on DVD. Slipped in and a little long-overdue TMI. It is good to be me today.
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Do my sweeties know me or what? In the last couple of days I received these two links: from [personal profile] loracs Bacon Camp and just now from [personal profile] serenejournal Bacon Flowchart
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There's nothing like a few dozen dishes falling out of the kitchen cabinet to get the old heart a pumpin'

I guess a shelf gave way. I was reading the slush pile for 42 Magazing and it sounded like the house was coming down around my ears. Everthing is fine except [personal profile] loracs she lost some of her Xmas dishes. :( Fortunately none of the dishes of her mother's were lost.
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26 years ago today, [personal profile] loracs and I moved in together! They said it would never last. No eloquent words are coming to me today, not that I ever think of eloquent words. I love you sweetheart. Thanks for sticking around. It's been quite a ride, eh?
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I came down with cellulitis yesterday (actually Sunday evening). I'm on antibiotics already, thank you on-call doctor, 24-hour pharmacy and especially my sweet, sweet [personal profile] loracs. I was disappointed because I had been feeling so physically strong earlier that week. Anyway, as often happens in my life along with the truly sucky stuff, there is a little good. I had managed to horn in on [personal profile] serenejournal and [profile] leback's lunch date yesterday. We were originally going to go out to eat, but as is often the case with cellulitis and antibiotics for me, the first few days make me very weak. So I wasn't up for going out to eat. I tried to "un-horn in" on the lunch, but they both decided to come over to my place. [personal profile] serenejournal made what I was told was a very tasty polenta. I tend to shut down when I'm sick and only really felt like drinking coffee and having a peanut butter and butter sandwich. We spent a truly lovely afternoon together. [profile] leback even brought me some peanut brittle (a favorite of mine). My joke for the afternoon was, "boy do I know how to show a woman a good time". Since the last time I saw [profile] leback she visited me in the hospital during my attack of pneumonia. The next time she sees me I'm down with cellulitis. I am a party animal!
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Tomorrow will be my 50th birthday. It's kind of a startling statement to me. 50. I keep getting hit with the realization that I've been on this planet a pretty long time. Things that seem really recent like the 80s are a really long time ago for some folk. It is a really long time, and I'm not supposed to remember long ago. I'm the youngest in the room. I'm the one that doesn't get references to The Shadow or Fibber Magee's closet. Nowadays, I'm often the oldest in the room. I saw Star Trek when it first appeared on television. I remember the lunar landing. I remember so many assassinations; John, Robert, Martin and Malcolm.

When I was 3 I had no right to an education. Disabled women were regularly sterilized in ignorance and for their "own good". Nobody heard of a curb cut. Later, doctors told me not to count on a long life. My parents, never expected me to go to high school or college. They thought I would stay with them until they died and then perhaps live out the rest of my life in a nursing home. After all, that's where many people with disabilities ended up, they still do because of the lack of community-based attendant care. Yet I got through high school and even through college. I never managed a full-time job, but I'd like to think that my volunteer work has made the world a little better.

This year has been a rough one for me and for mine. Sickness has left me feeling fragile. I'm closer to the end of my life than the beginning and I'm hating it. I try to concentrate on the good stuff. All the people who love me and take care of me. All and wonderful people who make me a little part of their life as I make them part of mine. I never expected to make 50. I thought I'd made peace with that long ago. I was wrong.

I hope I find someway to cope with what's coming. I'd like to think that I have a little of that stubbornness I'm so proud of left to deal. I've said this many times in the last several months. This has been one of the hardest years of my life, but it is also the year that I realized how well loved I am. [personal profile] loracs, we've been together for longer than we've been with anyone. Thank you for this life we've made. [personal profile] serenejournal thank you for this life we've made. And to the rest of you, my chosen family, my blood family and to all my friends: Thank you for the life we've made.

25 years

Oct. 22nd, 2007 04:20 pm
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It's hard to believe I've done anything for 25 years, but today it appears that I have. For 25 years I've lived with a truly talented, beautiful, brilliant, amazing person. [personal profile] loracs and I signed our first lease. She's seen me at my worst and hopefully at my best. We have built a life that I'm very proud of. For all these years, the good and the bad. I love you so very much. I'm very lucky. Thank you so!
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Boy howdy, it's good to have [personal profile] loracs home and healthy. Biscuits and gravy for breakfast and lasagna for dinner! I'm also getting a big jump on my various organizing projects. I put 1 1/2 long boxes of comics into my online database. We may get some of the study organized too! Life is so hard for me today. :)
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For those who don't already know, [personal profile] loracs gave birth to a bouncing baby gall bladder yesterday (or was it the day before yesterday?). I think she's in a little bit more pain than yesterday, but she's home. Thanks to [personal profile] serenejournal we have both eaten well, slept and it almost feels like we're back to normal.
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For those who haven't read it elsewhere, [personal profile] loracs had an "adventure" this morning :-(

I'm sure she will be feeling it tomorrow, but right now she seems fine with the exception of an impressive Shiner in her right eye and some general soreness.


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