alt.poly

[stonebender]

So to those of you who know what I'm refering to:

I'm so pissed right now. Am I being overly sensitive? What about my response ok or is there something else I should have done?

Comments

[firecat]

I can think of quite a few things you might be pissed about on alt.poly right now. It seems to be "stick your head up your ass and blow bubbles week" or something...

I thought all your responses were fine.

[submarine-bells.livejournal.com]

I thought you were fine too. FWIW, I thought that SP showed absolutely *horrible* timing to raise the topic he did hot on the tail of you saying that you were still perturbed by L's inane mispost. Not that one normally expects much sensitivity from SP, but this was special even for him. *sigh*

Seriously, I think that if it were me in your shoes right now, I'd be feeling darned proud of myself if I'd maintained the level of calm and courteous discourse that you have shown over the last couple of days. I'd have been really upset if I'd had to deal with all that, and I'm sure that there's better-than-even odds that I'd have put my foot in it quite comprehensively in response. IMO, it's very reasonable to be pissed off and upset, and you've done yourself credit in your responses, I think.

[aquaeri.livejournal.com]

A few people are heading towards my killfile, and they're not you, if you know what I mean.

[trixtah.livejournal.com]

No, stupid semantic arguments and vague allusions of past "wrongdoings" does not actually add up to anything at all. Obviously, I'm only an intermittent lurker, but if I don't know what the hell he's on about, then he's hardly making a cogent argument.

[redbird]

I'm a couple of days behind again, but I think I have a good excuse: a visiting partner, another very old friend visiting, and some family stuff. So all I can say is that if you were being overly sensitive, it would be out of character for you.

[snippy]

I think you've been appropriate and I've been sitting at home cheering you on.

I do find it telling that two people who independently claim to be all about communication (Lane and Todd 3-names) are so horrible at it. And that Lane has been covering up his true feelings all along--that contempt and disdain I read into all his posts really was there! (At least I'm open about my contempt.)

[autographedcat.livejournal.com]

I'm a bit behind, but I just read the interplay between you and Pope and thought you were quite restrained, all things considered.

((And while I hope I don't need to clarify myself, my quip about bionics was sarcasm, but not aimed at you, but at the sort of person who you were replying to in the first place))

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

Nod. Agreed, emphatically.

I think in this kind of situation, about all you can do is maintain your calm and take care of yourself.

[pyrzqxgl.livejournal.com]

I was catching up on alt.polyamory last night and found the Lane thing seriously jaw-droppingly shocking, whereas SP has been in my killfile for years. Your messages, on the other hand, have been great as always.

[stonebender.livejournal.com]

Thanks, I was starting to feel picked on, so it's very helpful to get a perception check.

[stonebender.livejournal.com]

Thank you! It took about everything I had not to flame the hell out of him. I had hoped I was being civil, but standing up for myself.

[stonebender.livejournal.com]

Thanks, John.

[stonebender.livejournal.com]

I have had a policy of not kill filing people. A policy I only broke once. Jimbat was killfiled for a period of time, but I'm betting the people you have heading for your killfile are similar to the ones I'm considering. :-)

[phoenixpdx.livejournal.com]

Ditto.

Ditto.

Is it a shock that OF has shown up lately, too? Perhaps the astrological signs for alt.poly have the Moon in Stoopid just now.

[stonebender.livejournal.com]

In addition to the many ways I'm pissed off at SP, the fact that he alludes to these past arguments then accuses me, but won't actually identify these past arguments feels more like him dumping on me and less the "constructive criticism" he wants me to think his comments are.

[stonebender.livejournal.com]

Exactly!

[stonebender.livejournal.com]

That's how I took it and thanks.

[stonebender.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the support

[stonebender.livejournal.com]

*chuckle* Thanks!

Re: alt.poly

[pir-anha.livejournal.com]

i haven't been in alt.poly in a while, but i get updates through russ occasionally.

i know todd personally. he's IMO easy to misunderstand because he is too damn terse and does _not_ generally say the least much that needs to be said (cf. aahz).

however, he is not an asshole, and he's never struck me as comparable to SP, or heavens' forbid, jimbat.

Re: alt.poly

[eagle]

Yeah, what piranha said.

My ability to understand Todd increased drastically after having talked to him in person on multiple occasions. I like talking about things with him, but I know him well enough to extend a significant assumption of good will.

FWIW, my experience is that he truly is interested in exploring topics and learning from people's disagreements and he's not trying to offend. It's not an act and he doesn't discuss with ulterior motives, although he does have a really dry sense of humor that can combine badly with the terse.

Re: alt.poly

[aquaeri.livejournal.com]

Yes, Todd doesn't strike me as an asshole so much as someone who isn't as good at various things (like text-only communication) as he thinks he is, and this is most likely a fixable problem.

Re: alt.poly

[stonebender.livejournal.com]

Actually, I don't have any trouble with Todd. Like I said on alt.poly, he just got a little of the irritation I was having at L and SP.

Re: alt.poly

[stonebender.livejournal.com]

I do think it's his terseness that throws me, but that's totally within the realm of courteous USENET discourse.

Re: alt.poly

[stonebender.livejournal.com]

*nodnod* His terseness does push some of my Aahz buttons, but I don't feel he's jerking me around like I often feel Aahz is.

Re: alt.poly

[aquaeri.livejournal.com]

I think eventually I will have no problem with Todd, but I have slight issues out of the previous 'non-violent commication' vs rape discussion. And I guess I haven't seen enough evidence from him yet that he 'gets' what darkhawk, Serene, I and others were upset about.