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May. 27th, 2009
(no subject)
May. 27th, 2009 10:57 amAs is often the case in discussions on the Internet. By the time I become aware of a big kerfuffle it's mostly died down. I don't want to just restart things, but I also feel like I want to say something. So here I go again. To those who are tired of this discussion please feel free to move on to the next post.
Personally, I would prefer that marriage be a strictly religious ceremony and not confer any particular rights.
If we are to recognize groups of people as families, I would prefer they all be some kind of domestic partnership. That would mean homosexual and heterosexual partnerships would be domestic partners and not husband and wife at least legally.
That does not mean that I don't feel simpathy for those folks who wish to have their partnerships recognized in the same way and with the same words as married people. If heterosexual married people get to be married with all that entails homosexuals should get the same recognition and rights.
This fight doesn't directly affect me, but as an ally I understand the anger and frustration. I understand those who wish to vent on those who get to marry. Maybe it's not the best strategy, but it's certainly understandable and not every thing that an individual does is always the very best strategy to accomplish their goals. I also think that discussions about strategy from allies and non-allies divert the discussion in unhelpful ways. Allies should take their cues from those being discriminated against.
I'm not married, but if I were, I certainly wouldn't take people's expression of anger toward those who are married or the institution of marriage personally. It's not about me. I don't feel that those being discriminated against need to worry about hurting my feelings. I'm on their side even if they were angry at me. People don't deserve rights because they have nicely asked for them. They deserve rights because it's the right thing to do. Treating people equally is the right thing to do.
Some of those who are against same-sex marriage have been persuaded that domestic partnership is the same as marriage. So why are those seeking same-sex marriages so worked up? First, domestic partnership doesn't confer the same rights as marriage. If the word marriage isn't important why not let everyone use it? Clearly the word is important to both sides.
I really do believe that recognition of same-sex unions as marriages will happen in the not too distant future. Five states recognize same-sex marriage now. The 18,000 same-sex marriages performed in California stand. Its not enough, but its another step.
Personally, I would prefer that marriage be a strictly religious ceremony and not confer any particular rights.
If we are to recognize groups of people as families, I would prefer they all be some kind of domestic partnership. That would mean homosexual and heterosexual partnerships would be domestic partners and not husband and wife at least legally.
That does not mean that I don't feel simpathy for those folks who wish to have their partnerships recognized in the same way and with the same words as married people. If heterosexual married people get to be married with all that entails homosexuals should get the same recognition and rights.
This fight doesn't directly affect me, but as an ally I understand the anger and frustration. I understand those who wish to vent on those who get to marry. Maybe it's not the best strategy, but it's certainly understandable and not every thing that an individual does is always the very best strategy to accomplish their goals. I also think that discussions about strategy from allies and non-allies divert the discussion in unhelpful ways. Allies should take their cues from those being discriminated against.
I'm not married, but if I were, I certainly wouldn't take people's expression of anger toward those who are married or the institution of marriage personally. It's not about me. I don't feel that those being discriminated against need to worry about hurting my feelings. I'm on their side even if they were angry at me. People don't deserve rights because they have nicely asked for them. They deserve rights because it's the right thing to do. Treating people equally is the right thing to do.
Some of those who are against same-sex marriage have been persuaded that domestic partnership is the same as marriage. So why are those seeking same-sex marriages so worked up? First, domestic partnership doesn't confer the same rights as marriage. If the word marriage isn't important why not let everyone use it? Clearly the word is important to both sides.
I really do believe that recognition of same-sex unions as marriages will happen in the not too distant future. Five states recognize same-sex marriage now. The 18,000 same-sex marriages performed in California stand. Its not enough, but its another step.