Vague Wisdom

Last Friday I had to go to Stanford for the drug trial. Which made it an early morning for me (6 AM). We got there on time. The visit entails several tests each time, but the tests aren't always the same each time. I was told there would be a blood test. Which is never my favorite, although I'm a lot better about getting my blood drawn now than I was two years ago. I didn't realize there would be several blood tests. They use these to monitor how my body metabolizes the drug. I usually need a baseline draw. Then I take my medication and they take blood again after an hour. Then another an hour later. A fourth a couple hours after that and then another two hours after that. Unfortunately I missed the baseline because the woman facilitating the test forgot I needed one and gave me my meds before the first blood draw. Bad news is they don't get some of the data they would like. The good news is I only had to get stuck four times rather than five. They also gave me an EKG which isn't a big deal, but I missed my scheduled check because of the pandemic.

The Stanford visit went pretty well. I did run into some trouble reentering the hospital. I had gone up to begin my tests with no difficulty that morning. In the middle of my tests, we went outside to enjoy the weather for awhile. On my return the guards said I needed to wear a particular mask that they handed me. Normally, this wouldn't be an issue, but the guards addressed all their comments and questions to Carol even though I was the one not complying. I had a mask on that I had been allowed to use when I first arrived at the hospital, but these guards were more insistent I used the mask they had given me. Look, I know they were doing their jobs and I'm sure some people give them trouble. My issue was they were not addressing their concerns to me. This is a sore spot for me. So after they had explained themselves to Carol. I said if you have a problem with me. Talk to me. He never really acknowledged my request. I called our test facilitator and she talked to them. Eventually I put on the mask they wanted. Which was difficult because I drive my wheelchair with my mouth and the mask quickly moves up my face as I am driving and eventually covers my eyes. So I drove upstairs having to stop every 5 feet or so to have someone pull the mask down so I could see.

I don't know if anyone is watching Fear the Walking Dead, but I really loved this week's episode and it hardly had anything to do with zombies.

I'm terrified of the election, so I signed up for a reading of A Midsummer Nights Dream. I'm reading Theseus and now I'm struggling with performance anxiety. I'm not completely sure what is better. Well, I hope the next time you read this blog I will be happy with my performance and relieved by the results of our election.*Fingers crossed*

And hey, let's be really Zen about this race. I know we may want to know the results as soon as possible, but let's not feed into President Cheeto's "strategy". We know there's always a couple races (and in fact most races) that don't get resolved until days after November 3 and that is completely normal. It's more important to count everyone's vote than how quickly we count.

I am a wannabe optimist. I want to believe that people have some kind of internal ethos that guides their decisions. Republicans have always touted themselves as the fiscally responsible party. Their arguments against governmental programs to help the poor, the disabled, the elderly has always begun with their opinion that we can't afford these programs. In actuality, I've always known that they just don't want to help people. They want to keep their money, their privilege and they have no recognition of the interdependence people in this world, and this country have with each other. They completely refuse to accept the fact that we need each other. That there are people in this country who are dying for no other reason than they aren't rich or even well-off. Republicans would like us to believe that everyone who is in dire financial straits are just lazy and entitled and should get off their ass and work. Nevermind some of us can't work. Nevermind those who can do work, do, but can never get to a comfortable position in life. I know people who have worked every day of their lives and live paycheck to paycheck. Knowing they will work until they die.

Well Republicans, you are getting what you want. Nevermind that it will add $1 trillion to the deficit. Somehow that doesn't matter as long as the money is going to the rich. The poor will pay more. The few middle-class folk who may get a break on their taxes, won't get them for long. But companies in the ultra-rich will get their taxes reduced and somehow Republicans believe that they will voluntarily pay their employees more. There is no requirement for them to do so. Unlike benefits for the poor and middle-class which always has rules about what we can and cannot do with the money. How much we can keep etc. We just hand over the treasury to the rich with the assumption things will get better. Trickle-down economics has always failed, but Republicans still believe it. Now we have the extra special twist of their finally being able to kill Obamacare.

Republicans you completely and utterly own this. You shoved the bill down our throats with zero ability for anyone to understand what was being passed. The actual bill was never completed until this evening and even then there were hastily written additions, amendments that no one has had any real time to digest or even read. You can never ever talk about how terrible deficit spending is. You don't get to present yourselves as fiscally conservative. You no longer get to complain about how we need to go through a full legislative process before we pass legislation. There was not a single hearing. It didn't go through any committees. We are going to live with your blatant disregard for anyone else's concern but your donors. I'm ashamed of you. You are destroying this country for no other reason than to get a "win".

And now Republicans will use this massive deficit from continuing wars that no one wants. The trillion dollar addition to the deficit and you will want to go after Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid and any other program that doesn't benefit the very rich. Be proud of yourselves I plan to remember what you did to this country. I hope everyone else remembers. Make no mistake Republicans, people will die from what you did today. This is not a different philosophical opinion about the role of government. This comes from hatred. You hate people like us who need some help.

I'm watching MSNBC (which I'm probably doing too much) and on several occasions hosts or guests of a show will say something like, "Romney needs to show people that he isn't just supportive of the rich. Not that there's anything wrong with being rich." You know what? I think there is something wrong with being rich. There is something wrong with a country that feels they need to be so very careful about offending the rich that they constantly say, "Not that there's anything wrong with being rich." You have a smaller and smaller proportion of the population in control of more and more of the power (money).

Somehow we can tolerate homelessness, people going hungry, people dying from lack of adequate medical treatment etc. etc. Yet there are clearly people who want to defend a person or corporations "right" to have so much money that they can not only afford one home but can easily own several homes. They can have lots of cars or boats or motorcycles or whatever. I don't begrudge people being comfortable, in fact I want everyone to be comfortable. I want everyone to be in a position that they don't have to worry about whether or not they will eat regularly or live in a home that is comfortable and adequate for them. I want people to get as much education as they want without accumulating so much debt that they wonder if they'll ever be able to pay it back.

I also don't think that to suggest rich people should pay more taxes is "class warfare". We are already engaged in class warfare and it isn't the poor or middle-class that have been on the attack.

Hello,

I just thought I'd drop a note and let everyone know I'm still alive. I have been particularly depressed the last few weeks. I'm coping and what energy I do have has been going into fighting California Gov. Schwarzenegger's proposed ( budget cuts )

I have to say that for the first time in a very long time, I'm pretty proud of my country. I have felt alienated from my government the last eight years. It felt like a drunk uncle took over the wheel of our national car. Last night however, I feel like the country came to its senses. Which is not to say I wasn't disappointed in a few races, but I can't stop smiling about the fact that a black man with a "strange vaguely Muslim sounding" name actually won the presidency of this United States. I never in my lifetime thought it would happen. We done good people!

As I read through my friends list this morning, I see some pretty common sentiments. Happiness at Mr. Barack Obama becoming president and some devastating disappointment in the various gay-rights propositions around the country. Here in California it was Prop. 8. People are understandably very discouraged. It's hard to see how we have progressed in our views of race, but still seem mired in homophobia. I see many people throwing up their arms in disgust and defeat. I am very disappointed myself.

What I need to remember is that the struggle for civil rights has never been a direct one. We take a few steps forward and then get pushed back a couple. We struggled forward again and keep pushing until we get equality. It's a long process but history has shown me in my lifetime that change happens eventually. We made a step forward in electing Barack Obama to the presidency of the United States of America. We've been knocked down for a while by the results of Prop 8 and its ilk. But we are a stubborn people. I admire that in my fellow civil rights advocates. We are down now, but we will pick ourselves up again and work for what is right. I have no doubt that eventually we will succeed. This is a setback and it hurts, but we will do what we always do. Get back up and start working again.

A friend of mine conceived and produced this video (with some camera help from loracs) after hearing Karl Rove claim that Senator McCain couldn't use a computer because of injuries he received as a POW. I'm a star!

Thank you loracs for the link [Edit: loracs tells me she got the link from kightp]:

Who'd a thunk it a conservative for Obama!

I suspect these will be a bit rambling and not very well organized, but I am trying to put more writing out there. So here goes:

Being on occasion a community organizer, I'm a little boggled that somehow it could be suggested that being one is somehow a bad thing. (I know that was Palin's speech. I told you this was not going to be well organized). I think taking responsibility for improving people's lives for little or no money or benefits is certainly more altruistic than simply holding office.

I'm not sure I can express this but I was really bothered by McCain's use of his experiences in Hanoi Hilton. Let me state this clearly, I personally think McCain was a hero in that circumstance. I have no illusions that in his situation I would've headed for the exit as soon as it was offered. The fact that he stayed is another example of how truly selfless people can be. As I'm sure many of you know I am one of those bleeding heart liberals. I never would have voted for McCain, but I always had a certain amount of respect for how McCain navigated his way through national politics. I didn't agree with him but it was clear to me that he really was doing what he thought was best. I always thought it was very classy that he never (at least in my memory) used his experience as a POW as blatantly, as self-serving as he did in that speech.

It is clear to me now that he has lost all perspective. He has caved in to the pressure from social conservatives to change his position on choice. I really do feel that I am on the other side of the looking glass. 26 year veteran in Congress is billing himself as an agent for change? A man who is getting all kinds of accolades for being his own man. Not caving in to partisan politics. Has changed many of his long-standing positions *exactly* for partisan reasons. A man who has condemned his opponent time and time again for his inexperience and yet chooses a running mate who didn't complete a full term as governor of Alaska. A woman whose only other executive experience is as mayor of a town with less than 9000 people in it. I job she apparently couldn't do on her own because she was pressured to hire someone to help her. I think his boasting about his military experience is an act of desperation. At least I hope people will see it that way. Yes I know I'm preaching to the converted, but I had to blather a little.

95% Mike Gravel
92% Dennis Kucinich
85% John Edwards
81% Barack Obama
80% Joe Biden
78% Chris Dodd
77% Hillary Clinton
70% Bill Richardson
37% Rudy Giuliani
26% Ron Paul
26% John McCain
21% Mitt Romney
20% Mike Huckabee
17% Tom Tancredo
9% Fred Thompson

2008 Presidential Candidate Matching Quiz

I don't know who Mike Gravel is. Given recent resignations, I should relook at some candidates