stonebender: (Default)
[personal profile] stonebender
As won't be a surprise to anyone who reads this journal, I get depressed. I don't think I'm depressed now, but I'm having a hard time figuring out my life these days. Contacting people is an effort. I don't have much confidence in my communication skills or perceiving things realistically. I'm pretty sure am reacting badly to things that have absolutely nothing to do with me. I want to quit doing just about everything I have committed to do. If I could, I'd get in a car and drive. Not that I want to leave anybody. I love my partners and I mostly like my life. I would like an adventure though. When I feel like this I think of going to Belize. Eating crawfish ettouffe in New Orleans or seeing the Louvre. Drinking a pint in a Dublin neighborhood pub. Watching a Shakespeare play at the reconstructed Globe Theater. Having sex with a woman I don't know.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-07-27 08:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pantryslut.livejournal.com
In my household, this state of mind is referred to as "running away to join the circus." Often shortened to "circus mode," as in "I am in full-fledged circus mode right now. I want to ditch it all. Hold my calls."

(no subject)

Date: 2005-07-27 08:30 pm (UTC)
firecat: red panda, winking (Default)
From: [personal profile] firecat
I can relate to this. I hope there's a way for you to have a small adventure.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-07-27 11:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] serenejournal.livejournal.com
I love you. We used to call that "running away to join the circus," too, but nowadays we talk about Vermont. I know what it's like to want to escape. Last week and the week before were like that for me. I think that I tend to do what you do (acknowledge it, think a lot about it, try not to be upset with myself about it), but I think it dissipates faster for me. And, of course, I have more ability to up and drive off if I want, so there's that. (Just musing, don't mind me.)

I hope it gets better. Hope you have sex with a woman you don't know. ;-)

(no subject)

Date: 2005-07-28 02:31 am (UTC)
ext_3386: (Default)
From: [identity profile] vito-excalibur.livejournal.com
In college, we all had our things that we were going to ditch our stupid lives to run away & do. P. was going to be a long haul trucker. I was going to move to the Caribbean & teach scuba diving. (Especially unlikely as I didn't then and don't now know how to scuba dive.) I still regularly fantasize about faking my death, changing my name, and running away.

Which is to say, I sympathize. I hope the feeling passes soon, and that you find an adventure that you can grab.

I can relate

Date: 2005-07-28 04:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tracytreefrog.livejournal.com
Work at the moment SUCKS! and I have easy access to a car but too much to do at home. I am in hopes the convention will be a good enough adventure to tide me over till next year!*HUGS!*

(no subject)

Date: 2005-07-28 06:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sturgeonslawyer.livejournal.com
I prescribe a diet of marionberry jam with chunky reduced-fat peanut butter on toasted potato bread. It may not help, but it couldn't hurt.

The real problem with this kind of mood is that when you're in it is precisely when you can't really motivate yourself to do the things that might get you out of it... Yucccch.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-08-04 09:48 pm (UTC)
ext_26535: Taken by Roya (Default)
From: [identity profile] starstraf.livejournal.com
depression sucks, and I go thru a 'if they want to see me they will contact me" phase again and again - knowing full well that most of the folks I know locally don't know how to initiate social interaction - it is a frustating cycle

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