(no subject)

[stonebender]

I've been feeling not at all myself for a while now. These days, I'm not exactly depressed, but I seem incapable of maintaining a positive self-image for more than an hour or so. Part of this is most certainly my sporadic consumption of my antidepressant. I don't feel like that's all of it though. Even days when things go really well for me (like today for example) I quickly feel guilty, second-guessing what I should've done or what I shouldn't. Somehow I need to figure out how to gain some perspective for at least a thicker skin.

I am managing to ever so slowly get some necessary things done. I found a therapy group for people with disabilities that meets in Berkeley. I'm hoping it will help some.

Comments

[betonica]

That sounds sucky. Are there some things that work better than others? Or are there things that you might be able to slowly drive out of your life, that are making the days worse? And was there something that started this? I find that if I can pinpoint something that I can blame, just doing that helps alleviate a bit of the problem.

I was depressed for about five years. No fun at all. And they didn't usually prescribe drugs back then - I'm not sure whether that was good or bad. It might be that if you take your antidepressant regularly, the other things you think are contributing will still be there but be easier to deal with? Just guessing - I don't have any experience with (non-herbal) antidepressants.

Guilt, now - some years back I decided that guilt was a useless emotion, and I do my best to spend as little time there as possible (quickly check: can I fix this? yes? fix it. no? stop dwelling on it). I haven't found that I can completely eradicate guilt, but at least I spend about 90% less time there.

I hope your therapy group turns out to be good!

[wild_irises]

*nods*

Injectable self-esteem has not been perfected yet, alas. But I hope you figure out strategies to improve yours, and I'd be glad to brainstorm some with you.

[stonebender]

Does it have to be in injection? :-) I'm sure we'll be talking strategy and thanks for the IM the other day.

[firecat]

Personally, I do call it depression when I find it difficult to maintain a positive self-image for more than an hour or so, although I know it's not the most severe form.

At this point I'm moving away from trying to prevent the second-guessing and the guilty feelings and toward noticing them sooner and holding them more lightly.

I hope you feel better soon.

[stonebender]

I didn't mean to make it seem like I was questioning that I was depressed it was more noticing how my depression was feeling really different this time around and of course not keeping up with my meds doesn't help. "Holding them more likely" that's a lovely phrase and yeah for me that's the trick